God... I'm Feeling Burnt-Out
In Episode 4 of Season 2, we caught up with Jordan, a Youth & Young Adults Pastor in Melbourne, Australia.
Jordan describes himself as a “pretty chill, stoic, level-headed guy” – that is, until he faced burn-out and depression that sent him spiralling. In Jordan’s second year of paid ministry, he felt the pressure mounting. He started running low on energy, and every piece of criticism stung. He threw himself into working longer hours, but it never felt like enough.
“I was consistently ruminating on negative thoughts,” Jordan shared, “to the point where I wanted to end it all and be with Jesus. That was my wake up call. I’d never experienced that level of despair and hopelessness before. How do you lead people into a place of hope if you yourself are feeling hopeless and surrounded by darkness?”
In our recent conversation with Jordan, he shared one of the pivotal questions he asked himself that helped him out of that dark place.
Whose burden am I carrying?
Jordan was (and is) a pastor. He knew what the Bible said about anxiety. So why was he struggling with feelings of overwhelming panic?
In the midst of feeling depressed and run-down, Jordan reflected on a passage that’s often spoken about in reference to mental health – Matthew 11:28-30. In these verses, Jesus told the people:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Hold up, Jordan thought. “Easy” and “light”? What he was feeling was anything but easy and light. As a logically-minded person, Jordan asked himself: If I’m not finding rest for my soul, whose burden am I carrying?
Before his burnout, Jordan had thrown long hours into working overtime, constantly giving his time and energy to the people and ministries that needed it. He was always striving and sacrificing more and more for God, but never felt like he was doing enough.
Like Jordan, we can all fall into the trap of thinking that the more we do for God, the better. But are we being obedient to what God has asked us to do, or are we in fact creating burdens for ourselves that He never intended for us to carry?
Jordan reminded us of the story in 1 Samuel 15 where the Lord instructed King Saul and his army to destroy the Amalekites, a people who had treated the Israelites wickedly. Instead of fully obeying the Lord’s instructions by destroying everything, Saul decided to spare the best sheep and cattle from the Amalekites as a sacrifice to God. The prophet Samuel came to Saul and asked why he had not obeyed. “But I did obey the Lord,” Saul said. “I went on the mission the Lord assigned me...” (1 Samuel 15:20). Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice…” (1 Samuel 15:22).
How often do we find ourselves feeling run-down and burnt out because we’re sacrificing so much for God? We might be volunteering all our spare time, working in several ministries, or being the sole support network for our friends and family. And while these are all good and wonderful things, are we being obedient to what God has asked each of us to do, as individuals?
Paul’s words in his first letter to the Corinthians remind us that we are merely “co-workers in God’s service” (1 Corinthians 3:9), and that our responsibility to care for others and partake in God’s work does not mean we are to take on everyone's burdens. On the contrary, Paul makes it clear that we’ve each been given a different role to play in the kingdom, and that ultimately, the success of our efforts is not up to us: “...the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollo watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow” (1 Corinthians 3:5-7). Although his focus is primarily on church leadership in this chapter, Paul’s words remind us that God doesn’t call us to do everything; we are called simply to do the task He has given us, and trust that He will take care of the rest.
Taking on His Yoke
Through Jordan’s struggle with his mental health, he learned that God wasn’t after his ‘more’. God was after his obedience.
“I sometimes still find myself tired and worn out,” Jordan shared with us. “And then I have to ask myself, ‘Are these burdens God has asked me to carry?’ And the answer is usually no. Many of the burdens we carry aren’t things that God has given us, but things we’ve laid on ourselves.”
“Now, I know the signs and symptoms of when I’m on a trajectory towards burn out. I often think of myself as a self-sufficient person, but I’m not. Only God is all sufficient, and we have to make ourselves rely on Him. Part of that means taking on what He’s asked us to, and not other things that we put on ourselves.”
Are there areas in our lives where we’ve been striving and sacrificing and feeling burnt-out? Have we been feeling the pressure to carry others’ burdens, or take on more responsibilities?
Maybe it’s time we slow down and ask God what He wants us to be carrying. He promises rest for our souls when we take on His yoke. Instead of pushing and striving and burning-out by taking on burdens of our own, we can be at peace knowing that God doesn’t ask us to do everything.
